This is a life skill and very difficult. Sorry but you have some of my red haired gene and it will be one of your more difficult lessons.
I suggest to find someone that is opionated, hard headed and a poor listener. Befriend this person, learn to like them (most of the time), help them grow.
You will learn to reduce stresses in your life and what is really important.
You will learn to talk with yourself, complaining, yelling while all the while smiling on the outside.
You will learn what is really important in life. Not the normal cycle of life where plans, policies, procedures, wants and dislikes will change every couple of years, often repeating themselves but relationship building, concensus building, listening, wisdom and patience.
Wisdom often drips out while your mouth is open.